The Republican's Rose Tinted Glass

Good Morning Bloggers! Did you hear the latest Republican gem? Dick Cheney has inked a book deal. The book is expected for the Spring of 2011 by Threshold Editions of Simon & Schuster. It's that charming division led by editor-in-chief Mary Matalin, a good friend and close aide to Cheney. Perhaps they should rename it to be more accurate. I would suggest the Propaganda Division. Once again, the Republicans demonstrate how close ties can help them create their own reality.

The really interesting thing is that Cheney's book comes out only a few months after President Bush's new book. I don't know about you, but something smells fishy. I'm sure I'm not the only one who wonders whether we have "dueling books" here competing for history's attention. That's my best guess.

Wow, both books should be shining examples of Republican historic revisionism, not to mention full of goodness and light. LOL! You know, they're very good at historic revisionism - that's what they call it, while the rest of us call it propaganda.

Did you guys know that Ronald Reagan single-handily pulled down the Berlin Wall? I hear that's why they named so many ships and freeways after him. That and for his famous ability to fly and use heat vision. There are also rumors that he helped George Washington cut down that famous cherry tree - you know, the GOP says he never told a lie. LOL!

The "Best of Cheney" (fine, kidding) is expected to be all about his long career in government, from chief of staff under President Gerald Ford to vice president under Bush. I wonder if that will make Bush feel less potent somehow. I doubt it. If he writes about his years at Skull and Bones and the subsequent drug years, his book should be a much bigger seller. Hollywood may even want to make a movie out of it. LOL!

What I find really hilarious is the way DICK told the AP "I want my grand kids, 20 or 30 years from now, to be able to read it and understand what I did, and why I did it." To achieve that noble idea, he needed $2 million dollars from Simon & Schuster. I guess Dick Cheney would need that kind of money to do a good deed for anybody - his grand kids or the nation. I hope he lies a lot in it, or his grand kids may get the wrong idea. LOL!

I swear, the man is a caricature of today's Republican. They make up their own facts, their own history, and their own reality. They always miss the irony. It's kind of sad really.

When they finally come out both books will be considered history by Republicans and complete works of fiction by Democrats and the rest of the civilized world. It's strange, but Republicans see themselves as the principled party of strong families, strong defense and strong economies - history and reality do little to cloud that perception. It's incredible, but they soak up their own revised history like a sponge in crude oil - slowly but surely.

In the end, they believe all of it. That's when they start fighting to name things after their great leaders, and their "achievements." It usually requires about a decade to pass before things calm down enough, thus allowing their propaganda to work. The funny part is they think we don't notice or remember. Unfortunately for them, we do. We remember Watergate, Iran-Contra, and the years of turmoil under George W. We also remember the Republican debt, no matter how many tea parties they try to hold. Despite their best efforts, they're getting a reputation.

While they pine away for guts and glory, and marvel at aircraft carriers named after themselves (I'm sure that's how they see it - don't you know they're all heroes), we Democrats sit down and work hard to find solutions to the problems of everyday Americans. While we try to draft solutions to health care, energy, finance and immigration, the Republicans bitch and moan about the workload and how we Democrats are changing America too much. All the while they never realize that America is always changing, and they are always trying to catch-up.

In the end it all works. Real history is about Republicans getting big ships named after them, while Democrats quietly enjoy a small and simple plague on a remote bridge - one that might have fallen down and killed somebody if we Democrats didn't fight to spend the money to rebuild it. Republicans love to see themselves as the world's "freedom fighters," yet real history suggests they ignore problems here at home to pay for those adventures - those frequent, very expensive adventures.

No matter what Cheney and Bush write about, we Democrats - and all Americans - will know the truth. Their spin won't be strong enough to hide their disasters. Their spin won't be fast enough to prevent history itself from praising all the successes and improvements since their departure. In the end, they will be left with a small group of fans. A group that will mean little to the rest of us.

History will shine brightest on those Americans who fight to improve the country. History will be kindest to those with truth and justice on their side. History will ultimately credit the Democrats with helping Americans cope in this challenging and difficult world. In the end, Americans will know truth from fiction.

Wednesday's Political Laugh Rave - Michael